Steve finds himself unable to score Lisa Silver, a sexy cheerleader, so Stan helps him by rigging the school election to name him student body president, but Steve becomes drunk with power when Lisa admits to using him. Meanwhile, Francine cuts off Roger's junk food supply, and Roger uses Hayley to get his fix by writing her term papers.

Stan tries to get Steve to attend summer camp; the only one available that he can find, however, turns out to be a refugee camp in Africa. Meanwhile, Roger and Francine take up role-playing, though they can't come up with a mutual backstory.

When Francine discovers that all of their family vacations have been artificial memories created by the CIA so that Stan could ditch the family, she demands a real vacation. Meanwhile, Roger makes a desperate effort to be the greatest actor who ever lived.

The Smiths' plans to celebrate Roger's 1,600th birthday are sidetracked when Steve announces that he's finally going through puberty. Ever fearful of the thought of a Steve with raging hormones, Stan and Francine try to bypass the pains of having another teenager with experimental medicine.